They say it takes a village—but what does that really mean? In the past few decades, it’s taken really anything but a village to raise a child. iPads, Ms. Rachel, and Bluey—yes. A village—not so much.
This idea is essentially what social scientists call “social capital”: the value we gain from our relationships with other people. That value translates into more job opportunities, stronger societies, happier individuals, and healthier families. Social capital has an enormous effect on the trajectory of our lives.
In recent years, we’ve watched this vital resource erode, and the results are evident in society: weakened family structures, declining mental health, fragile communities, and shrinking opportunities.
The Difference Support Makes at Home
Parents who have social capital have something invaluable—a village, if you will. They have people who can babysit, offer parenting advice, bring meals after a new baby or during an illness, and help with rides.
Essentially, they aren’t doing it all on their own, which leads to less stressed parents and a happier family.
Children benefit too. Watching adults model strong social capital shapes the way kids view adults. They develop deeper respect and greater trust in adults as they form supportive relationships with neighbors, coaches, mentors, and church leaders.
A study by sociologist S. Michael Gaddis found that the amount of time kids spend with “non-parent adults” can produce positive academic and behavioral outcomes.
On the other hand, without connections, parents often feel like it’s them against the world—overwhelmed and exhausted by the daunting tasks of managing a family, career, and financial pressures all alone. Stress rises, and family relationships strain.
Opportunity Moves Through People
Social capital in practice might look like asking the doctor who goes to your church if you can shadow him for a day because you’re interested in medicine—and him saying yes because he knows and trusts you.
These connections get us places. Some call it “privilege.” I call it taking advantage of your relationships.
Think of social capital like “networking,” but remove the negative connotation of people as ladders. Instead, think of people as anchors—trusted relationships that keep you grounded and help you grow.
Without these anchors, it’s a lot harder to get that internship you’ve dreamed of, or the right experience needed to launch your career.
Loneliness Hurts. Community Heals.
Now we can’t talk about society without bringing up mental health. According to a 2024 review in the International Journal of Multidisciplinary Research and Growth Evaluation, depression is now one of the “largest contributors to disabilities around the world”—and its rise is “alarming” across every layer of society.
It notes that financial strain, lack of support, and other social pressures are major drivers of these mental health outcomes.
Creating social ties makes you happier. Strong relationships serve as a buffer against the pressures driving today’s mental health crisis. Connection isn’t just good for society, it’s also good for you.
The Hidden Safety Net Living Next Door
We all know the stereotypical “Karen”—the neighbor who calls the cops the second someone unfamiliar walks down the street. What if I told you that your relationship with that neighbor might be one of the things that makes your community safer? Neighborhoods with strong social ties are safer.
A landmark 1997 Science study by Robert J. Sampson, Stephen W. Raudenbush and Felton Earls found that Chicago neighborhoods with higher collective efficacy (social capital in communities) had significantly lower violent crime and homicide rates.
How to Bring the Village Back
So how do you find or create social capital for you and your family? Go to church. Bring cookies to your neighbors. Serve in your community. Enroll your kids in soccer and dance if you can. Connect.
Ironically, the more you pour into others, the more support you end up building for yourself. Every small act of giving strengthens the very social ties that will anchor your family when you need it most.